So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
