my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
