Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
