One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
honey bunches of taint.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
