The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
