ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
