Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is it penis luge time yet?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Still dying that you shit outside
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
