i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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