I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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