Swine flu is the new snow day.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
