i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
