I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
