seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
