its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
