whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's blow job season.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
