Im at strip club and am horny
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
only you would photoshop your dick
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
