Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
