I could make wine with my vomit
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
