i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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