Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
