She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
