I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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