I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
