just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize