I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
