We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
