I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
