Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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