first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
