I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
