oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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