these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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