Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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