I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
