there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize