how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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