look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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