Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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