Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
