I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
