about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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