Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
