She's JV to your varsity
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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