i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
