you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
