I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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