The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
