i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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