Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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