i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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