awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
