No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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