got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize