I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
