Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize