; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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